"Walden!" he shouted, scurrying into the living room. "I’ve decided. Tonight, I am a man of mystery. I am the shadow in the night. I am... going to the local library’s silent auction."
Walden, lounging on the couch with a green juice that cost more than Alan's car, didn't look up. "Alan, the last time you tried to be 'mysterious,' the police questioned you for three hours because you were lurking near a mailbox." Watch Two And a Half Men S11E21
"That was a misunderstanding involving a lost coupon!" Alan huffed. "Walden
Walden patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, Alan. I’m sure there’s a very lonely librarian out there who loves coupons as much as you do." "She’s an archivist, Walden! And she’s magnificent!" I am the shadow in the night
"Great," Alan sighed, looking at his phone. "Now I just need to find someone who’s willing to be seen with me in public for forty-eight hours without a paper bag over their head."
As Walden and Jenny began debating the merits of living a life without responsibility, Alan realized he had accidentally bid on a "Romantic Weekend for Two" at a bed-and-breakfast in Solvang.