Three Seconds

DVD
Tinto Brass Presents Erotic Short Stories
Part 1: Julia

Starring: Anna Biella, Loredana Cannata and Fiorella Rubino
Arrow Films/Fremantle Home Entertainment
RRP 15.99
FCD158
Certificate: 18
Available 10 May 2004


In this collection of three stories, an emotionally abused wife finds comfort in the arms of her brother-in-law, a young dancer undertakes an erotic and redemptive pilgrimage to Rome involving live sex shows and nude photography, and a femme fatale looks into a mirror as she recalls a sadomasochistic love affair...

Try imagining an erotic version of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, and you'll have some idea of what this DVD series is like. Only less well made. Producer Tinto Brass has little direct involvement with these short films, apart from introducing each one while puffing away characteristically on a cigar, and making the occasional cameo appearance.

Though the productions claim to have been directed in the "Tinto Brass style", there is scant evidence of it here. Only in A Magic Mirror is there any hint of Brass's eccentricity, in the grotesque character of a brusque layabout husband (Ronaldo Ravello), who spends much of his screen time lounging around in a bath, like the captain of the B-Ark in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But, although this tale displays the most humour in the entire collection, it also shows off the least amount of bare flesh, which is surely another important ingredient that the audience will be expecting.

Things get sexier in Julia, the story from which this collection takes its name, which includes some particularly explicit and highly charged sex scenes. Unfortunately, the plot is almost totally incomprehensible - something to do with a dancer (Anna Biella) going to Rome, but wildly at odds with the description on the back of the sleeve, which mentions a photographer's three beautiful models. I counted two of them at the most. This production is also blighted by amateurish editing, which leaves several gaping holes in the soundtrack. Oh well, at least this DVD is subtitled, which spares us from woeful English dubbing of the type recently heard on Brass's Private.

The final tale, I Am the Way You Want Me, is a very weird and nasty little minx. In it, a naked woman (Fiorella Rubino) sprawls around in her bathroom, mouthing various strange utterances to camera, and doing erotic things to herself, such as shaving with a fearsome-looking cutthroat razor (shudder). And that's about it.

A further disappointment is the lack of any extra features. So, all in all, this DVD has left me feeling rather brassed off!

Chris Clarkson

Three Seconds

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cover
£15.99 (Amazon.co.uk)
   
£15.49 (MVC.co.uk)
   
Three Seconds
£15.49 (Streetsonline.co.uk)

All prices correct at time of going to press.